Donald Trump called a last-minute press conference today to announce that, to protect America’s children, he would be banning all flavored vodkas that do not fall under the Trump brand.
“Flavored vodkas encourage children to drink, and we can’t have drunk schoolchildren roaming the streets.”
When CNN’s Jim Acosta asked why Trump brand vodka was exempt from the ban, he explained: “Trump vodka is tremendous. It appeals to a sophisticated palate that a child could never understand. No child could afford Trump vodka, which is available in 14 flavors and available through the official Trump 2020 store.”
It is unclear if this will pass constitutional muster.