A local man is currently running to his local polling place after learning of the election from looking at Instagram stories, the Hamster has learned.
Zach Jeffres, 32, was startled after noticing that several Instagram stories were talking about the need to “vote.” On what, he was not sure, until figuring out that there might be an election today.
“Shit, there’s an election today?” Jeffres yelled. “Why hasn’t anyone said anything? I need to get to the fire station to vote. Or the school. Where do I vote? Do I need a mask? Is COVID still a thing? Fuck!”
When asked, Jeffres said he was leaning toward Kanye if that was an option on the ballot.