Welcome to Hamsterscopes. The Hamster has looked into the stars to tell you what to expect in the next week.
Aquarius (January 20- February 18): It will be that one errand tacked onto the end of your day that will break you this week.
Pisces (February 19- March 20): You will have to go back for your mask when you attempt to leave the house.
Aries (March 21-April 19): Work on your fake laugh, because you’ll have to convince your boss you think his zoom background is funny.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): This week, you will have to reset the same password you’ve reset 7 times before.
Gemini (May 21-June 20): The store is still out of that thing you needed.
Cancer (June 22-July 22): Just buy more wine than you think you need.
Leo (July 23-August 22): Your aunt will share something on Facebook that is demonstrably false.
Virgo (August 23-September 22): Just give up on that project you’re definitely not going to get done in quarantine, because the stars know you’re not going to finish it.
Libra (September 23-October 22): In the days ahead, you can expect to go to Target and spend more than expected.
Scorpio (October 23- November 21): Your text will say you’re laughing, but you won’t be.
Sagittarius (November 22- December 21): You can expect a spot to appear in your ceiling this week. Was it always there or is your plumbing rotting away above your head?
Capricorn (December 22- January 19): You will keep adding to cart, but not check out any time in the future.